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In the past six months, I feel like I've had to say goodbye to a lot of things, and that I've been, in a subtle way, in a perpetual state of mourning over different things.
Home isn't anywhere, really.
the future is uncertain.
The past was romanticized, and now makes me wince when I think of it in some ways.
Graduation means I have to grow up.
I have three "big" identities: a daughter/sister, an aspiring missionary, and a student.
of course, I am a friend, and a writer, and a musician, but the constants in my life have always been those three, at least that I've stitched into myself.
And with at least one completely done on Saturday, I'm struggling to know who I am. Who I am in Him, what I'm "supposed" to do, how to function without a schedule that I've known for 23 years of life.
Life keeps moving, and I feel like I'm standing in a subway, checked out...zoning, confused, while cars pass me by over and over.
I am going to eat ice cream with some friends.
I never wanted to say goodbye to my dream. I never wanted to ponder the thought of living in a community like this (although it was a tad bit tainted this semester), and I desperately never wanted to say goodbye to altering all of my relationships now that I'll be off campus.
I hate goodbyes. They're anything but good.
Press On.
Phil. 3:13-14
-Becca
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| | Posted 5/11/2009 8:28 PM - 80 Views - 6 eProps - 4 comments
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